Creating Sacred Spaces: Women’s Circle Gathering & Support Circles
The healing power of vulnerability and sharing circles
We used to attend AA meetings with my father as kids. We would stop at McDonalds before the meetings to get breakfast on a styrofoam platter. I always saved the hashbrown for last. As I ate my pancakes, my siblings and I would listen as these grownups would share and unburden themselves. I would watch on as they visibly freed themselves from the shame and guilt they had been carrying around. I could see the relief in their faces and shoulders as they walked away from a share.
I became hooked on what it means to gather and share like these adults had. I started looking for similar situations where people would come together and share vulnerably. I watched my mother with her sisters, and sometimes friends, around our kitchen table. I watched them laugh and cry and share intimate stories and I felt lucky to be included.
I watched my friends circle up around a bonfire at night. Staring into the fire, I noticed how people started to share things about their lives, shedding layers of self-doubt.
I experienced it myself with my college girl friends. We’d circle up with wine in our hands, talking and crying until the morning. My roommates and I would circle up on the floor between our rooms to process the overwhelming decision of what to do after college.
I experienced it again in the many singing groups I’ve performed with since middle school. We would inevitably end up in a circle, listening and harmonizing as one voice.
As an educator, I’ve facilitated restorative circles. I’ve also held really important conversations in a circle of students. It was incredible to watch them come alive when talking about the hard stuff. They perked up immediately and were so relieved to have the opportunity to speak the hard truth. I watched a class of behaviors become a strong-bonded community after a brief, but important, conversation. There’s something about sharing vulnerably that instantly connects people that were previously distanced.
I don’t really remember when, but I stumbled upon my first women’s circle and immediately recognized it. It was that same communion, that same connection, that same magic that I had witnessed so many times before. I noticed how much better people feel when they finally say the thing that was on their mind. I notice the visible relief of someone who finally breaks down in tears. I witnessed the magic of catharsis following the hard thing. I watched on as the connection between those involved in the hard conversation immediately had a stronger bond. I became emotional as we celebrated someone’s joy.
For years, I sat on the truth that I needed to replicate this magic. I NEEDED to find a way for humans to tell their story, to connect on an authentic level. I realized that we weren’t doing it enough in our culture and there was so much magic in it. The AA model for sharing shouldn’t just be for addicts. Everyone deserves an opportunity to tell their story. Wine shouldn’t be necessary for women to come together and share the hard stuff. We should be able to do it sober and maybe from the comfort of our own homes.
Bread & Roses Club
I decided to create my own sharing circles for women. I wanted a place for women to come and share. I wanted a community of folks who identified as female to come and feel seen and held. I wanted to create a community of women who felt comfortable sharing vulnerably with one another. I call us the Bread & Roses Club. Although I knew in person circles were always going to be preferable, I also knew the women who often need a sharing circle are stuck at home with kids. I decided to host these gatherings virtually to ensure they are accessible to any woman who needs them.
We started back in April of 2024. We currently hold meetings on Sunday mornings at 9am. Sunday mornings have proven to be a good time for young moms since they may have a partner at home to help with the kids. As a holdover from our church-going days, Sunday mornings are typically less scheduled. Like me, many women find that they miss the community of church, but none of us have any real intention of joining a congregation. Many of us are looking for a sacred way to spend our Sunday mornings in community with others.
If you miss the community of church and are looking for a sacred way to spend your Sunday morning, consider trying our sharing circles. If you’re looking for a place to share your story, a Bread & Roses Club gathering is the time to do it. If you, like me, process outloud, we want to hear it. Like the adults in that church basement back in 1995, you too can experience the freedom of sharing and unburdening. And sharing circles don’t work without listening. Listening is arguably the most important part of a sharing circle. You’ll get plenty of benefits from attending and just listening.
If you have hesitations and are not sure what to expect, check out my last blog post here for answers to those concerns.
