Parents are Feeling Overwhelmed Because We’re Playing Catch Up from the Start

It’s an average week in the suburbs. Gymnastics on Mondays, Swim lessons Tuesdays and Thursdays, Girl Scouts on Fridays. Soccer practice on Saturday. Birthday party on Sunday. Sound familiar?

We’ve all agreed by now that mothers carry a serious mental load. We’ve sympathized that there aren’t structures in place to support proper maternity leave and child care. We’ve all admitted to being completely overwhelmed and busy with the grind of life. Why then, pray tell, would we add MORE stress to our plate by filling up our calendar? Shouldn’t we be trying to take things off our plate, rather than adding more to it?

As always, I like to zoom out for a fuller picture to investigate. What is really going on here? Is there a fear behind all this? Spoiler alert: there’s always a fear behind our behavior. 

Could it be that I fear that my child will feel left out? Is it my fear that my child will fall behind? Is my fear that other peoples’ kids will outperform my child and they’ll never recover? Is my fear that my child will never grow up to be successful or get a scholarship or get a job? 

At this point, things spiral and it becomes borderline comical. It’s the ridiculousness of it all that provides the clarity I need. My kid really isn’t going to be a pro-soccer player, nor do I really want that for them. If they don’t do soccer as a Kindergartener, will that really impact their future? Of course not. 

But it’s easier said than done. When I decline the chance to sign up for dance class, I still get a slightly panicked feeling that my child is indeed missing out or falling behind. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that I need to practice sitting with, acknowledging, and breathing through. 

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